Shots from the box..

Dirty Vegas and the road home

Dirty Vegas and the road home

Pulsating neon beckons through the curtains of my dimly lit hotel room. I fumble for my phone and find it with mere seconds to go before my alarm was set to announce the morning. Knowing I have hours of 100 plus degree desert heat to endure I check the website for today’s WOD so I can tackle it prior to getting beat down by the glaring sun and sand.

I make my way down to the gym of the hotel and casino I’ll call home for the next 4 nights. My focus for this week is simply not to lose ground on the progress I made my first week of CrossFit, while on work travel. Translation, I really don’t want to start over. Fittingly enough, the hotel that supplies light to the moon, the Luxor, doesn’t feel the need to provide airflow to their workout facility, which is fantastic since now I may very well pass out with 115lbs above my head. With only a few “Is he going to take out a ceiling panel with that medicine ball?” looks, I manage my way through thrusters, wall balls and pull-ups. Feeling like I’m missing something I get a run in that evening as well.

This would be my routine for the next 4 days.

After a couple days off from both work and any type of exercise I find myself finally back home and with my family. To knock off the Vegas dust I get a long run in on Sunday prior to getting back to the CrossFit routine Monday. This past week I was able to attend the WOD’s with the group Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, getting Monday and Thursday’s in on my own. Although I didn’t lose a ton of ground my week on the road, it wasn’t the same as being at CrossFit Arvada. I missed a bit of the intensity and accountability. The following is a glimpse into my return to WOD’s within a more structured environment:

Monday

• Although on my own, I have set up today’s WOD at a local gym.
• In spite of the inner struggle and not knowing the etiquette of this gym, I manage to keep my shirt on despite it’s suffocating, sweat drenched grip on my neck and shoulders.
• 30 deadlifts at 225 lbs is border line attempted murder, however, what makes it worse is resting every 10 reps as starting again elicits noises not necessarily appropriate for public places.

Tuesday

• I was almost giddy with the fact I was sure I could get through today’s pull-ups without the use of a band, however, someone decided it would be cool if we did clean and jerks along with front squats prior to those pull-ups and tail between my legs, I had to install my sweet band of assistance to the pull-up bar.

Wednesday

• Double Unders, great.. now jumping rope is hard. No worries though, I ended up quadrupling the effort after the second round of today’s WOD. I’m much better at jumping rope now.

Thursday

• Again, had to do the WOD on my own, which almost felt like an off day and that I was getting away with something
• By doing the WOD at a local gym I did benefit from being the audience to a gentleman who was getting through his WOD of 5 to 6 rounds of: 1 rep clean and jerk followed by “see how high the bar bounces after I drop it from here”, 2 reps of change song on ipod, 2 reps heavy breathing and fumble for ipod volume control.

Friday

• With one eye open and blurred vision, I felt I needed to check today’s WOD prior to seeing why my 2yr old thought it was appropriate to be awake at 5 a.m.
• Pretty sure the white board was upside down today as we seemed to be increasing the reps from round to round, which completely destroyed my mental strength and the relief I typically get by telling myself “hey, only 15 reps this round and 9 on the last.”
• I seem to get past the mental weakness, as I am far too distracted trying to figure out why my feet hurt. I mean, I’m pretty sure I didn’t work out feet this week.

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With 3 weeks in the bag, one of which being on the road, I am beginning to get glimpses of where I can push a little harder in the coming days, which is both exciting and a little scary given the fact that some of my first days at the box had me stumbling home. I am seeing some honest improvement and I’ve found myself in several contemplative states, analyzing where I could pick up a few seconds here and there. I have also learned that my wife is not mature enough to handle me discussing thrusters over dinner. I continue to be thankful for both the guidance and support I receive each time I get to join the group for that day’s WOD. 

This is my Fight Club

This is my Fight Club

Butterflies begin to flutter, I begin to pace, it’s Monday morning and I should be graciously sending off our weekend houseguest, my Father, but my mind is pre-occupied with thoughts of a woman, a woman not of the same name as my wife. I have not hidden this other woman from my wife, rather, I have recently informed her all there is to know and Kari (my wife) now stands beside me, smirking. This doesn’t help; I turn to her, say my goodbyes and venture toward Helen… for the very first time.

What seemed like only seconds after pulling out of my driveway I find myself in the parking lot of CrossFit Arvada. Deep Breath, engine off, here we go..

Day 1 – Helen (400M run / 21 Kettlebell swings / 12 pull-ups)

My pacing hasn’t stopped.  Now inside the box  (box = gym in CrossFit vernacular) we are waiting on asphalt to be replaced along our 400m run route (I’m assuming it was easier to just bury the last rookie) so I have more time to think, to stress and to wonder what it will feel like to still be doing pull-ups on Tuesday morning.

Some final guidance from our coaches and owners of CrossFit Arvada, Keith and Stacey, and now, finally, we’re off. We start down the road of our 400m run and I realize, after following the lead pack around the cone at the end of the alley, I have completely misjudged how far 400 meters is and confirmed at that very moment it was not that first cone. I now must apologize to Keith and Stacey, my 400m warm-up run was more like 150 or 200 meters, I probably have some burpees coming to me.

Rounds 1 and 2 come and go and I’m on my 3^rd and last. I am convinced at this point that someone moved the turnaround spot on the run and we shouldn’t really be running to Boulder County and back, but I say nothing and make the return to the box. The last of the Kettlebell’s are in the books and I am now onto my nemesis, pull-ups. Pride swallowed, right foot securely placed into my “assisting” band, I muster through 12 reps and I am finally done and ready to say goodbye to Helen, at least for now.

My first WOD (work out of the day) down and I’m alive and well.

(I’ll spare you the dirty details of each rep of the next 4 days and leave you only with the highlights)

Day 2 – 30 push press / 35 HR Push Ups / 40 Wall Ball’s / 45 Med Ball Sit ups / 500m row / 3 burpees every minute on the minute

• I make a mental note to drop a line to our President with the suggestion of reconsidering Guantanamo Bay with a new “encouragement” policy and instituting a 3 burpees every minute routine.
• I find myself enraged at my own shirt and for the first time in my life I am now working out with no shirt on.

Upon driving home I contemplate having to pull over in order to allow myself to recover and once again return to focused vision.

Day 3 – 9/11 WOD (3 Rounds Of / 9 Thrusters 65/115 / 11 Chest to Bar Pull Ups / 9 Power Clean 85/135 /11 Box Jumps 24/30 / 9 DeadLifts 125/205 /11 Double Unders)

• My request for today’s WOD to be 3 rounds of hide and go seek is respectfully denied.
• A corner has been turned and although today’s WOD is tough, and it should be, it’s 9/11, I’m getting through it and I find myself oddly enjoying the punishment.
• My shirt and I are still not on speaking terms and I once again place it in timeout.

Day 4 – 15 minute AMRAP (6 Pistol Squats - Alt Sides /15 DB Floor Press 20+/40+ / 25 Sit Ups)

• Sit-ups are my new nemesis.
• If tomorrow’s WOD engages the abdominal region I may very well cry a little in public.
• I cannot wait until tomorrow; I’m beginning to love this.

Day 5 – 10 overhead squats / 15 toe to bar / 20 SDHP

• I Rx (Rx = “as prescribed”), albeit Rx2, for the 2^nd time and feel pretty good about it.
• I am completely bummed I must now travel for work and miss a full week at CrossFit Arvada, but I’m determined to stay up to speed and will tackle next week’s WOD’s from the road.

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Words like “cult” and phrases such as “drinking the Kool-Aid” are frequently tossed around when talking about CrossFit and those that participate in this style of fitness. Those, to me, are barriers folks are putting in place for their own reasons. However, I must admit that after my WOD on Friday I went to a local grocer to pick up a few essentials for my 2 year old and noticed a fellow CrossFitter at his day job at the bank inside this grocer. In this chance meeting I thought for sure there would be brief eye contact followed by a “1^st rule is we don’t talk about it” head nod. I truly did get a sense of “we are part of something awesome, together” during this chance encounter.  If you need to call this a club, fine, but it’s inclusive and I encourage you to experience it for yourself and talk about.

Going in I didn’t know what to expect other than the assumptions I carried with me through what I’ve read and what I’ve heard of CrossFit and the people that “are” CrossFit. What I found is that yes, the difficulty and intensity are certainly present and that’s a good thing. I have found that going into the trenches with this group of people is incredible and although it took me 44 minutes to get through Tuesday’s WOD, no one left and everyone helped get me through it. I found no egos, only encouragement. I found instruction instead of intimidation and best of all… I found a challenge.

"You know that place between sleep and awake..?"

Life at times can take a very similar shape as that of New Year's resolutions, sound intentions, but away with a mid February wind can be fleeting. I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, but I'm a fan of the conscious effort to do good.

I've had a bit of a battle going internally, trying to catch the shoe strings of a life's purpose or better said my life's passion, pertaining mostly to my work, with a "who am I, what am I half way good at?" on the side. Although I will continue to grow as both a husband and father, I'm pretty set on that side of the balance. I'm married to a Goddess and we have a little awesome monster running amuck in our square foot challenged home. To date I've continued to find frustration in the place of answers for my work. 

A close family friend once mentioned, "You have to shut up for a second so you can hear the answer." These words consistently return when I find myself locked in my own head, trying to figure something out, but most of the time I have a very hard time accepting and taking the advice.

On December 14th, 2012, we unexpectedly lost my Uncle Tom.

Thoughts of "figuring it out" have ceased, my mind now wandering through the dimly lit and lonely streets of a small town just released from the grips of a show stopping blizzard. It's quiet and with the snow covered pines yet to relinquish the flakes at rest on their shoulders, I honestly feel I can hear silence. Nothing beyond my family and friends now matters. 

My Uncle Tom was an artist and unique soul, one who was able to take the simple words I wrote on our wedding website and turn them into an Illustrated guest book, hours from Kari and I saying "I do"and who found "Oh....MY.....GOD" wow moments in life's every nook and crany. To put it simply, with every joyous moment Tom found it was as if he was having fun for the very first time.

With Tom's sudden departure from this world and the heartbreak in my chest,  thoughts immediately turn to my stepdad and my uncles. If I feel like this, how the hell are they dealing with the loss of their brother? What kind of pain is that? How do I help?

Between the news on Friday and saying our goodbye's the following Tuesday, stories were told, tears fell and heartfelt laughs were shared. Tom's days on this earth and his ability to live between sleep and awake are to be celebrated. In the throws of grief I heard various pleas, statements and questions alike, most around where we go from here, one in particular stood out, "do I live the rest of my life in honor of Tom?"... 

Yes. Yes you absolutely do. Do you replace your purpose with his or relinquish yours? No, but hell yes do you live in honor of his spirit, his love and his now eternal "whooooaaaaa!" He is a part of us, for some more than others. We will do right by his memory and we will live in this very moment and will do so with each of the following we are blessed with.

I love you Uncle Tom. My promise to you is I will find my passion, in my family, my faith and my work. I will work everyday to be present, to live every moment and to do good.

-dp

"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting" - Peter Pan